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Monthly Archives: September 2013

AN INVENTORY OF 7TH BIRTHDAY GIFTS.

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Luges? Lugos!

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Turns out “skitlls” are Johanna’s favorite candy. 

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We hope Mrimeum/Miriam will appreciate the cursive signature.

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More Skittles. The Mood Lamq is a vase filled with color-changing LEDs and liquid-filled plastic bubbles. Whatever’s in it is hazardous enough the package says, “do not dispose of bubbles in the sink or garbage.”

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The diary was scientifically designed to make 7-year-old girls flip out: velvety exterior with celestial patterns, a giant neon initial “J” on the front, a quill topped with a hot pink feather, and secured with a flinky lock and key.

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It took me a while to figure out this was a Fairy Crystal Light Catcher.

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Dear “No one” (a/k/a Nanni).

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“FurReal Friends” are a disturbing type of vibrating plush that startles when touched.

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You know what’s big? Oversized novelty stuff.

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Like a pencil the size of your forearm.

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The ultimate Thank You note cop out. Sorry, Clara.

GOATSIS IT TOO EARLY TO LIVE IN THE PAST? When do new experiences start taking a back seat to commemorations? For me that point might be age 38. Around here nostalgia rules especially in years that end in “3.”

Not that this year’s new and notable column isn’t ample: MakeSh!t Mini Golf, Johanna learning to ride bike (over her strenuous objections), the departure of Grandpa Chuck and arrival of his namesake Charley, professional zigs, personal zags—death, birth and rebirth basically, with experiential inventory left to fill.

17But it’s all processed in light of history, each little milestone an excuse to look back. 10 years ago Sarah and I got married, an event we still talk about like it just happened and that we believe, secretly, earned us the All-Time-Fun-Party award (the marriage has been nice too). Is this our Linoleum Anniversary? Naugahyde? 

This summer I let my 20th high school reunion pass without fanfare (just peeking at the event on Facebook aged me a little). But Sarah’s 40th birthday got its due, sans black balloons or anything to do with a hill. We threw a party in the yard with bahn mi, this gin we like (almost too much), records, and a BYO-home movie screening.

Screen shot 2013-09-16 at 7.27.32 PMPeople brought the silly, shaky-handed footage we hoped for, plus standouts like Craig’s “Airbags for Men.” It was the world premier of Sarah’s “walking” vids, a series she’s shot over many years but that mesh surprisingly well. The locales are diverse but the subject is always her feet.

Also featured: a tribute vid I made to a YouTube I was fleetingly obsessed with in 2009: back-to-back intro sequences from Faerie Tale Theatre, a program hosted by Shelley Duvall from 1982-87. Having missed my window for meme relevance, I never posted it. But the paean played well to our friendly crowd.

 Here’s the original:

And the tribute:

My birthday gift to Sarah, in part, is to nudge her toward her true calling. I scoped her out a new startup that I’m calling LMDTFY. She already has a steady practice of non-paying customers, that being pretty much everyone she meets. 

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Any direction can be forward.