REALLY, YOU’VE BEEN A SUPER LANDLINE, 612-SCAM-LAB. But after 12 years, the world has changed. We’re totally different people now, people with expensive mobile data plans. It used to be so good—us huddling together around that old answering machine, tethered to your curly cord. But look at yourself now: bringing home solicitors at all hours, your once resounding ring gone feeble. And tell me, what is an “FCC approved line charge”?
We can’t support you anymore. So this is good…bye. (*sniff*)