2011 Policy Objectives

I’VE OUTLINED A STRATEGY FOR THE 36th YEAR of the Administration of My Own Mind. It came to me half-awake on 1/1/11 under the lingering influence of prosecco and pancit:

+ Accept the bad habits with the good (I’m hardly fit to judge)

+ Fill the void (spiritual, moral, what-have-you) with desire instead of anxiety

+ Suspend bogus austerity measures (eating four-day-old leftovers; squeezing more wear out of threadbare garments; repairing scissors), which have no relation to real deprivation anyhow

+ Get out ahead of the inevitable ’90s nostalgia movement (still working on the how for this one)

+ Exert the limited control I have over life in ways that actually matter—unlike, say, Teutonic punctuality or TV rationing

+ Collect more art books, vintage postcards and liquor store Ts

+ Abandon catastrophic thinking and trust that when the end does come, I won’t be ready

+ Don’t be afraid to express love, offer help, or (especially hard for me) show total indifference

+ Look a little nattier when I leave the house

>> Richard Hell & the Voidoids – The Plan
>> Fiery Furnaces – Ex-Guru

  1. Paul said:

    I’m with you, brother, especially in regards to the anxious void bit.

  2. Jake said:

    Thanks, Paul. This post began as a list of my anxieties (which I also did last year) but this time cataloging them somehow didn’t make me feel better.

  3. Marc said:

    Happy new year, Jake. As for 90s nostalgia, I hope you’re referring to the 1890s. Because if you mean the 1990s, all I can remember is $5 ATM withdrawals, capacious potato crisp and ice cream consumption, and 2-day hangovers.

  4. Jake said:

    The 90’s were an era of appalling lows (as you mention) as well as dizzying highs for me personally (I had a few good years before and after the cesspool that was our UW undergraduate daze — and I wouldn’t trade those 40-oz’er afternoons at Golden Gardens for anything).

    But I’m more about the cultural nostalgia: Kung Fu movies, neo-hippie raverism, epic slackerdom, hottub parties, work shirts and wallet chains, and the ear-bleeding music… oh oh oh

  5. Marc said:

    You mean those 40-oz’ers surreptitiously drunk from discarded Big Gulp cups? Yes, those were heady times, indeed.

  6. Jake said:

    SurreptitiousDrunk.com is available and I think someone in our cohort should own it

  7. Re: +#7, Expect the worst, hope for the best. Works for me and most of Scandinavia and look how happy they are.

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