Wedding profiles, Nos 1-7

Before it fades, here’s installment 1 of notable interactions from recent days.

Rosemary: The bride’s mother invented special assignments for me out of thin air, like decorating the bare plywood panels that guests would see on the sidewalk as they arrived at the reception hall. I admired how she was willing to say pretty much anything to get her way, even when everyone was happy to indulge her anyhow.

Bruce: Kirk’s Dad kept taunting me, rather perversely I thought, about how I dutifully rubbed lotion on my babysitter Fischer’s feet as a child. But I loved how he wore his F.O.K. button all weekend.

Ken: Without fail, summer visitors to the home of my stepfather will be treated to plentiful smoked meats (spare ribs on this occasion) and informed of their current price ($1.99/lb—a little high, Ken felt). At least six Leinenkugel Cream Ales and three bottles of red wine will be consumed no matter how few people show up.

Gabe: Talking about our professions, this old family friend of Kirk’s told me he worked until recently in toxic waste removal. But the fireworks started before he could elaborate.

June: Introducing herself to wedding guests, June would say, “maybe you know my son, TRAVIS,” arching her brow and hissing slightly as she uttered his name, finally finding pride in her notorious son after years of worry. Regarding Travis’s long-time, on-and-off girlfriend, June announced to our table that Travis should “end it,” suggesting he talk to his father who “had no trouble ending our marriage after 25 years, did he?”

Lisa: On the merits of Des Moines as a place to settle down, Lisa pointed to “the quality of life, the quality of people… the quality of meat.” I couldn’t disagree.

Dolly: It’s actually Anne, (“I wouldn’t want you to think my mother named me ‘Dolly'”), but opportunities to speak to this maid of honor were too few for it matter, even as a groomsman. She folded towels alone in the penthouse kitchen while we partied on the roof deck. I was warned, but still it surprised me when she made a wrong turn as I escorted her down the aisle.

UPDATE: A batch of excellent pics from Austin, including my favorite so far of the bride and groom (#69).

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