ALSO ME: Yeah?
ME: I owe my standard of living to a bubble economy held up by non-renewable resources, unchecked borrowing, and systematic oppression.
ALSO ME: I don’t see others panicking. Why are you worried?
ALSO ME: Ruling class wealth is built on the same system as yours. They won’t just let it go to hell.
ME: They nearly did — with gusto! We’d be in extreme austerity mode if not for some 11th-hour Hail Marys.
ALSO ME: Exactly. Somebody has a hand on the controls and is determined not to fail.
ME: You mean the criminal cartel in the White House? The “adults in the room” who aren’t accountable to anyone? No one is even pretending anymore. The rich are buying up land out west for When The Shit Goes Down. Like they know something we don’t.
ALSO ME: You know people out west. Eke out the collapse with them.
ME: The west is a giant tinder box. At least we have water (for now). Can I even survive without a grocery store?
ALSO ME: You have camping skills. Forage for mushrooms. Catch some fish. Build a fire. Shoot your dinner.
ME: Guns scare me. Especially people with guns.
ALSO ME: You and over half the population.
ME: Can I play the Artist Card? Maybe I could do an oral history of the apocalypse. My wife’s pretty handy…
ALSO ME: See, you have currency when capitalism is over.
ME: But what about all the people in my city who can’t flee? Do we just let them rot?
ALSO ME: You can barely save yourself, let alone everyone in need. Anyhow, who’s to say you’re more resilient than your neighbors? They might be bailing YOU out.
ME: Hope they like shabby drawings.